BAR SCENE CHAOS.. I FORGOT WHAT IT WAS LIKE

Has is ever struck you that when Grown men get together for beers, they tend to revert back to their teen years? I wouldn’t have believed it so much if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes!

Last weekend, hubby and I are in a bar meeting up with his coworkers.. We all met there to hang out with a former co-worker who moved out of state. He was back visiting his kids, family etc. Cool. I like hanging out with these guys, there almost all married and I know their wives we’re all friends it’s all cool. This evening, I am the token female! No big deal. It’s kind of fun. Because I don’t drink, and am always the designated driver, my nickname is now…”Double D” hey, let your imagination run!

There is a new employee, who I haven’t met yet, but he seems ok, seems like a nice guy. wears his wrangler jeans VERY WELL and is not really hard on the eyes either.(no, I wasn’t looking to fix up any of my single friends, or anything, it was just an observation) He is fairly new in the singles scene after about 18 years of marriage. So he’s on the look out for a little piece of tail.

So, I hear him talk to another friend, about the blonde at the end of the bar. I casually glance toward that direction-.OH MY GAWD! I will lovingly refer to her from here on out as “Rode hard put away wet” or “RHPAW.” Him…” Wrangler jeans”. He, Wrangler was telling co-worker guy.. how much he like to get with this Piece~ And Starts staring at her, kind of like that love sick puppy look that Horny teenagers get… The night goes on and the booze is flowing on, almost all have a heat on.

Wrangle gets to meet RHPAW. Wrangler then proceeds to go out in the parking lot with RHPAW. Then the men folk in our group start talking… I swear to God, I felt like I was with my girlfriends, with all the gossip and speculation that was going on. About 5 minutes later they come back in.. not compatible? Doubtful. He that quick,? She that Good? Doubtful again. She then goes out on the dance floor with another woman and leaves him standing by the wall.? HUM…….Then he starts telling hubby his plans for this woman-hubby, who was not impressed with her at all, was like, Dude, why her, when you have 3 fairly nice looking women at the bar….???(I’ts ok hubby has good taste!) Wrangler checked them out but still chose RHPAW… and after the dancing was over they were at it again. It started to get late and we said our good byes. We knew there would be good smut on Monday!

And not to be disappointed, there was. As it turned out she was his third woman of the evening. Which to some must be a conquest, to others might be a “gross out” especially if they all looked like RHPAW. Much was shared about this woman and her … talents but hubby would share only that…she could suck the chrome off a tale pipe. MAN oh MAN!!!! The bar scene…too funny!!!

Thirteen Things about Bananas 62 1…."Bananas" is a nickname I've had since I was 15, my real name is Ann, oh and 62 is the year I was born. 2.... I'm Italian by Heritage. But I'm proud to be an American! There is no whereelse I would want to live. 3.... I always had great 80's hair! Big and permed!... not so much anymore though 4.... I love the The MoodyBlues, Styx, REO Speedwagon and many other 80's bands 5... I think I could be stuck in the 80's and be happy! 6...In September I will have been married for 20 years! 7.... My mom is one of the strongest women I know. I saw her become a widow after 23 years of marriage and have to go back out into the work force, not an easy task for someone almost 50 at the time. But she did it!!! 8... My husband said it was 'love at first sight" for him... I didn't really like him at firest. 9.... When people asked my mom if she planned to remarried? (Which by the way, is very rude) She would always reply, "Why? I was married to the BEST!" 10.. I think my mouse, to the computer is possessed... my "little arrow" seems to move by it's self. 11... I miss my dad and think that he would have gotten a kick out of his two great -granddaughters! He's watching from above with is grandson. 12... If I could meet just one person, I think it would be TED NUGENT! He's proud to be an American! "everyday is the 4th of JULY!" You're awesome! 13.... I would like to tell the only Male who ever broke my heart "thank you!" You made me realize just what I wasn't looking for in a relationship!... "Kurt, thanks I really hope your not on your 3rd or 4th marriage by now.!" you were kind of a controlling prick! Links to other Thursday Thirteens! 1. (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)

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DIRECTIONALLY CHALLENGED CHAOS no other words can describe it!

My 18 year old is one of the most sweetest(blonde), prettiest (Blonde)girls, Young women, I know! She has a heart of gold, a fairly good work ethic, but that doesn't include cleaning her room, and is a relatively good, new mom... baby K is 2 months old. >That whole situation is for another time...

Tonite S calls from her cell, panicked, they closed the freeway I don't know how to get home. Now I have had this conversation with her before, but this time, she hadn't even left the town she works in. the conversation goes something like this:

s "THEY CLOSED THE FREEWAY, I DON'T KNOW HOW TO GET HOME"

she has to be on 3 different freeways to get home....

me" WHAT FREEWAY DID THEY CLOSE?"

S " I DON'T KNOW, THE FREEWAY"

again I ask "WHAT FREEWAY?"

then she begins to babble about Fresno... THAT'S 3 HOURS AWAY

and I'm thinking to myself.. this is gonna be a long nite! So finally I realized I needed to approach this in a different direction...

me "Where are you at?"

S " I'm at IN and OUT"

me "Which one?"

s "IN AND OUT!!!"

deep breathing is really helping me out right now...

"Are you at the IN and OUT in our town or in the town where you work?"
"BY MY WORK!!!!!"

This little bit of information helped out greatly... I got her on the correct road and "talked" her through the entire (small) town. Keeping in mind that you can't say "head west on xxx street" because NORTH, SOUTH, EAST AND WEST are just words to her... not directions. You have to say turn right and go straight!

I remember at that age, I was driving all over California, able to read a map. It just baffles me that she has absolutely no sense of direction, How can that be?

I guess that's why for those directionally challenged, new cars come with Navigation systems!

FUN CHAOS!

Your Inner Pop Princess Is Shakira

"Baby I would climb the Andes solely To count the freckles on your body Never could imagine there were only Too many ways to love somebody" You're more a poet than a pop star.

Who's Your Inner Pop Princess?

I'M GOOD WITH THIS!!!! IF I COULD ONLY GYRATE MY HIPS LIKE HER....

Saturday evening Chaos!... not really

Do you ever wonder what it is about mom sitting at the computer,that bugs the family? It's something like Mom on the phone. Nobody wants your attention or really even knows your alive, until, you look like you've got some down time.

So, to prove my theory correct, my 12 year old is watching WWE or RAW or one of those wrestling shows, hubby is watching the ball game and grandbaby is sleeping... well like a baby, and baby's mommy is at work.

I've been running allllll day long since about 7 am and I've been dying to get on line to see what Jen and Kim have added to their blogs, check e-mail, and maybe even google myself ( I know , get a life)hit e bay or hit the food network's shows I missed today. So I'm sitting at my computer with Kenny Loggins singing in my ear..and all is good and then...

I GET

MOM!!!! I think I need my appendix ( I apologize if I'm spelling this wrong)taken out, says the 12 year old

hummm I say

Mom, I've been having this pain all day.

let me stop here and explain, my 12 year old is a bit of a DRAMA QUEEN

Where does it hurt?

on this side

where?

on this side it's been hurting all day

Honey?

Yes, Mom?

your appendix is on the other side

oh, it's been hurting on my other side too... as she giggles her way back to the couch!

and then she's back

MOM,I know what city John Cena ( a cute wrestler)lives!

You do?

YEAH!!! All excited,now I can go there (somewhere back east) and tell him I love him and stalk him.

Honey?

YEs, mom.

You can't stalk people, it's against the law.

why, I'm going to marry him someday!

yes, but you can't stalk him.

oh

I know you think mom's a poop, but there are some things you just can't do

back to the couch

goofy kid!

now as I write this, the little stinker keeps popping in over my shoulder trying to read what I'm writing! She would do the same thing if I was on the phone, too!

goofy kid!!

Happy Saturday!!

WEIGHT LOSS CHAOS... I CAN DO THIS MYSELF well maybe with a little help from my friend!!!

The e-mailed office memo came out about 2 weeks ago, …”not wanting to offend anyone, we are having our own “BIGGEST LOSER” Contest” The rules rather simple… everyone who participates, has to put in $25.00 towards the “pay off” and you have to lose 2% of your weight the first month, if you gain, your out , game over plus you lose your money, and the list goes on and on, in the long run the BIGGEST LOSER can win close to $500.00, not bad as I see it. So you’re probably wondering… Is she going to take part in this bit of office bonding?

HELL NO!!!!

Now you ask, “why not?” Well the list of reasons, while rather short, may explain why.

1) I don’t like to lose money! 25 bucks is still 25 bucks and well I could put that to use somewhere else, like….a phone bill? An electric bill? GAS!!!!!
2) I suck at dieting… so If I fall off the diet band wagon… refer to #1. Plus that would just piss me off if I had to give my money to a person I was less that tolerant of.
3) We have to do a public “weigh in” NOW, for many of you who are not “weight challenged” you might say, not a big deal! Well, you don’t know the people in this office. I couldn’t bear to be the subject of gossip at the water cooler!
4) The keeper of the weight statistics is our General Manager, who, just doesn’t need to know some things… plus the fact that some of this information just might slip out during one of the “good ol boy lunches” he has with the other managers.

So with these small items in mind, I turn to my office mate who is “weight challenged” as well, we discuss partaking and not, we go back and forth and she comes to the same conclusion as I… there is some information some people just don’t need! SO we do the next best thing…We do our diet challenge via the Buddy system! Mind you neither of us still knows what the other weighs, but that’s o.k. We can keep each other on the straight and narrow and count points together, Yes, we are losing, using Weight Watcher Point system, I have still got the books and point counter, that I’ve had from many of my failed attempts at weight loss. But for some reason, this time is seems to be working!

This is week 1
According to the Dr A’s scale I have lost 8 pounds since the last time I was weighed! Not too damn bad. One of my fellow employees even commented on it yesterday, Cool! I told my hubby… his reply… I like girls with a little “junk in the trunk” oh please….this ass is keeping me from wearing some really cute clothes!
My office mate, says she feels better based on the choices she is making. Do you know she turned down her favorite Ice Cream last night? Hubby knew she was having a bad day… bought the Ice cream to make her feel better and she turned it down! Now that is an astounding feeling for her! SHE TURNED DOWN BEN AND JERRY’S! GOD WHAT WILLPOWER!

So as we start week number 2, we enter it with a warm and fuzzy feeling! Stay tuned.

NO CHAOS TODAY! CHE BELLEZZA

106 MILLION REASONS FOR HAPPY CHAOS

106 Million, the largest lotto in Cali's history

I buy the ticket and think, "why not me?"

Wednesday Nite is coming soon

I'll sit by the t.v., the channel in tune

Repeating MY numbers in my head

hoping that each on will be said

Knowing all the while,

someone in Cali is sure gonna smile.

"Why not me?"

what's your lucky number?

The computer Chaos continues... but I do see light at the end of the tunnel!!

I did it!! I finally did it! I got my virtual pet on my side bar!!!! Not feeling so stupid after all! I got the sparkle letters to work...kind of... But I ended up with them in 4 different places...!!! not bad for a hair lip as my friend Rich would say!! hee hee OK so it took me 2 hours to get the damn bunny on my site! Hey but tomorrow's another day... stay tuned, I may surprise you!

BLOGGING CHAOS!!! I'M REALLY NOT AN IDIOT!

I really don't think I'm an idiot but when it comes to my blogging site... well, it's not too cool... ok.. jen, kim .... Help!!!! i'm about ready to shot my computer!!! That would be my own created chaos!!!